5 days, past 5.

Hasn't been much happening with friends. I just miss a few, I guess. I could admit right now, that I eternally do not want to go to school anymore.. There may be so many reasons for me to stay but such less reasons for me to go. This 5day break, was really good. I think out of everything in this world, I value my family the most. Why? Because where would I be without them, from here on out past daylights.. Theres way too many things happening at school. It's as bad as, when I get home I always take my anger out on "them". They don't deserve it, but hey I've learned my lesson. Clearly and Fairly. "You can't always get what you want unless you earn it" right?

Is it really that easy to just up N leave like that? It's like it's been happening all my life, but I'm still not comfortable with people making it look that easy. There has to be something wrong withh all of this. It's like, at one point, I'm so secure with everything. I'm past the destination of happiness, or at least that's what it feels like. Then something or someone has to pull the rug from under the table. I'm losing wars, I can't ever win. But this time feels different. I don't care anymore. I feel like I'm inviting in the antagonist, just skipping the fight of for some 'happiness'. I'm not taking it into my own hands anymore, just letting things fall into place.. how it's 'supposed' to happen? Idk, but everything happens for a reason, right? I really don't believe that though. If everything happened for a reason, I could be the one to just drop everything and everyone, just as they've done to me. And I wouldn't regret anything. Is that the reason for me to be alone? I have a hard time even taking that into consideration. So I refuse to. I want to say I don't care, and I really feel like I don't. But I do. Deep down inside, I care more than I think. Cause my heart speaks louder than I could already hear it.

07 sucked, more than 08. As much as I want to say, this will be a better year, I am not going to lie to myself. The more I anticipate, the more I am let down. Every year it just gets worse. It's time for some change..