Can't turn back now,

I can't explain it. It's all so complicated. I shouldn't be striving for something that's right in front of me. I have someone who's willing to care, but I'm not interested in what he has to offer.

Stupid OTH &Twilight got me thinking about how much I'm MISSING &how much I'm letting pass me by. But I'm not feelin it, &I can't stress that enough

I really want to tell you off just to let you know that you just need to back off. But you're not doing any direct harm, &I really have no solid reason for the way I've been reacting to you. But I'm just doing you a favor. I'm not the type of person you're gonna want to have when you need THAT kind of dependency.

So much shit is going on in my head, but I don't have the right words. I can't put together any words that would signify the messed up shit that I feel. &The worst part is, I can't even fucking explain it to myself in my own head. It's a whole mess of confused, irritated, envious, happy, sad feelings that I just can't describe cos' those words seem a little too significant for this situation.

Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget. = truth.

i really do miss you. +how many times do I have to repeat this 'til you'd have to understand. The many steps that made me reach to you, is the many more steps that im going to have to let go of you. Climbing to the top is the easier part, but climbing back down is the more challenging part.. I could determine the faith you've given me, yet I could determine the love you haven't given me. HA! sikee... we got this LOVE/HATE KINDA' RELATION/FRIENDSHIP goon' on. Mostly love, not hate.